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THREE'S A CHARM

Written by Darling Nikki | 04 December 2009

Oh Boy.

Would it be fair to say that it's not looking so good for the Tiger? Why did he do it? Not one, not two - but THREE mistresses?? They say that "3's a charm." Let's establish the obvious first; that there's a lot of speculation going on. Let's, (for courtesy) use the word "allegedly" - that he has allegedly been unfaithful.. Ummm.. three times, that we know of. Is it possible that all three women are lying? Probably not. In actuality, most of us can't say that we personally KNOW Mr. Woods. He's not anywhere in my address book. Damn, I'm sure I had his number somewhere.) But based on what appears to be the "allegations" I submit the following thoughts. Some would say it's nobody's business and that's fair. Unfortunately when someone is rich and famous, they are viewed as public property and while privacy is bought with high fences, security and press-agents etc., oftentimes,none of the above are enough to keep things under wraps.Especially when it comes to SEX.

Just in time for Christmas, it looks like Tiger may be in Santa's Naughty Books.

First question: Like just one bombshell galpal on the side is not enough to sink a guy's battleship?? Why go for broke and have three?? There's that saying, "GO BIG or GO HOME." Nowhere in there does it say "AND GO HOME."

Well, his new nickname is: Cheetah Woods. Or so that's what I've heard. The good news is: He's rich enough to live this down and though the jokes and snickering will continue for awhile - he can at least be rest assured that David Letterman won't be poking fun at him. Which brings me to "poking fun."

Next, just how many women does one guy want, anyway?? The thing about Mr. Woods is that, til now - his reputation was so pristine, at least to my knowledge. Golf's Golden Boy. It's bad enough when your better half is a total whore, but to have it go public?? I can't imagine the horror and embarassment. His wife is a certifiable knock-out: Young, Swedish, Beautiful -- is she really going to stick around through this complete shit-show? I can't see it. Behind closed doors he'll be getting pats on the back from some. Others, for fear of their own wives (and possible trysts) will want to distance themselves. At the end of the day, the Cheetah, oops, I mean the TIGER will redeem himself... all will be forgiven.

I'm thinking-- Why don't these people with millions of dollars to blow, just put it right in the pre-nup with a gag order- something like this:

"Baby, I'm stinking rich and there ain't nothing that's going to change that. And no matter how good looking I may, or may not be, bitches are gonna throw themselves at me. Lots of them. So all I'm saying is - be on notice - once in awhile (or more), I'm gonna f*ck up, and I'm gonna f*ck up LARGE because I'm a dude and I can't control myself. Are you cool with that, Baby? If so, sign right here...If not, you're welcome to be one of my bitches and I'll make it worth your while until I'm done with you. And PS: if you ever go public with this, you will only get half of what I'm promising your smoking hot ass."

Hey, at least it's straightforward. And in this crazy world of ours, someone would probably sign it. Providing there was a nice cash bonus to go along with each "infraction" w/the option to be bought out at a much larger amount. Preferably in a lump sum. No sense wasting time. The show must go on.

Bill Clinton got away with it. Who could resist his Mr. Potato Head grin with that Little Rock, Arkansas accent? And that infamous line "I did not have sex with that woman." We have Billy Boy to thank for redefining the word SEX. After that stunt, fellatio became much more acceptable, or rather 'out in the open'. Afterall, according to none other than the (then) President of the United States, a blow job was not SEX. Kobe Bryant got away with his infidelity too-- even in the midst of a rape-scandal. Bet that night cost him a few million bucks. But he made it "go away." Money Talks. Ummm...So do women.

The list goes on and on. I'm not so sure what I'd do. I'm inclined to think the sheer humiliation would be enough to make me walk. But in all honesty, I don't live the opulent lifestyles of these folks so it's hard to say what goes through a person's mind. They live in an entirely different world than most of us. The rules are not the same. The stakes are much, much higher. But Mrs. Woods can certainly move onwards and upwards if she chooses to, and she can do it in style. With her looks and her cash; I'd be OUTTA THERE.. Shania Twain said "See ya" to her hubby. So did Elizabeth Hurley to longtime companion Hugh Grant after he picked up a total dog of a hooker on Sunset Blvd. Both of them are beautiful women. Hillary C didn't get quite that far but we can safely assume that she made Bill's life a living hell. And it works out alright too if you're really not interested in sex with your husband anymore anyway. Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time picturing Mr. and Mrs.Clinton getting it on.

Does anyone out there really believe Tiger wouldve snagged a catch like Elin (Elle), were it not for WHO he is?? I'm compelled to think NOT. He's at best, pleasant looking and yes, impeccably dressed - but he's not the greatest looking guy around. Nothing's ever enough for some people. Temptation wins out every time. These guys want their gorgeous wives, and their bits on the side. And yes, the side dishes are often a lot more of the "dirty" girls they are secretly craving. Shame on you, you Silly, Silly Boys.) When will you ever learn?? Let me answer that... NEVER!

Darling Nikki

TRUISMS.. LET'S TALK TURKEY

Written by Darling Nikki | 09 October 2009

Stop me anytime here, but it seems to me that unless you're in the thick of a marriage or relationship, a little bit of freedom and anarchy can really muddy the waters. If you've been with someone a while and then - (let me go out on a limb here and say, ummm that if it didn't "work out" then that's because there were "problems") SINGLE, the proverbial "line" can really get blurred. Everyone that can admit, "I wanna have my cake and eat it too" say "AYE". Don't let me get started on symantecs and why that saying is so non-sensical. Personally, if I had a cake in front of me, I'd get out a knife and fork and I'd eat some. Sex for Dinner

Having said that: more and more I am realizing that we are not meant to be with just one person. At least MOST of us aren't. Can you imagine being "with" someone that you'd never have to lie to, or lie by omission? Probably not. Shouldn't the ideal partner be one that, theoretically AND in practice, you can be "yourself" with? ALL the time?? Which BEGS the question: When we are "not being ourselves," who the f*ck ARE we being???

I can be single- I know this for a fact. I can be single and also feel certain I'm not missing out on any grand love story. The grass does often appear greener on the other side. Having said that, I do believe in love, yet I feel it is a rarity. So yes, I have dual-citizenship if you will... I can be with someone...or not - but until you're with someone who can take you at your best and worst, you're still alone. And for anyone who's hiding shit, and lying I have only this to say: the truth may not always be music to one's ears. But good or bad; it IS the truth. Cover your ears and say "LALALALA" all you like - but at the end of the day, someone is either going to be with you, or not. And if they are only with who they "think" you are, Houston- we have a problem. A few actually. The very minute you have to pretend or hide (who you truly are), you have sold yourself out. I don't care if that's what "everyone else" does or what "most" people do. It's still a fact. And since when does what 'everyone else does' really matter? It's merely a justification we make to ease our guilty consciences. We justify ourselves all day, every day. We all have a "mood" we can go into from time to time. Can your partner handle YOURS?

I think I'm pretty easy to get along with, but I'm sure there's a few people out there that may not agree - like I care. I do need to retreat into my shell once in awhile and I prefer to do so, without company. Or if I have company, then their quiet acceptance of this is much appreciated. I am what I am. The door is always there. To stay, or to go.

Well it's the Canadian Thanksgiving Holiday. Most Americans haven't got a clue that Canadian's celebrate this Holiday in October. Happy Thanksgiving to all. Be thankful for your health, if you have it, your good friends and family and the people who love you. Be thankful too, for the people that love to love you.. And for the people that love to hate you? To hell with them, maybe they will choke on a big mouthful of Turkey.

Darling Nikki

SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME

Written by Darling Nikki | 05 October 2009

I will admit it: I am GUILTY. I like to hear my name once in awhile. People who don't use a person's name (ok, we'll go with MY name since this is "my" story;) seem to me.... to be bad news. Most people I know address me quite affectionately and it's very natural... In formal/business exchanges, it is ofcourse common place to address a person by their name.

I'm referring more specifically to personal, friendly relationships. Sexual or otherwise. Saying a person's name IS personal. It's "connected"-- however subtle it may be. To NOT say a person's name is the total opposite. There is a much warmer (even if for the most part sub-conscious) feeling you get from someone when they use your name.

I don't want to have to script anyone. There are those who know instinctively to do this, and those who don't, or rather maybe they simply "choose" not to.. I'm not suggesting a person has to say my name EVERY time they speak to me, that would almost be annoying - But there's got to be a flow, a groove. I'm simply saying; Once in a while, I want to hear my name.. it's a definite "red flag" when someone rarely, if ever addresses you without saying your name. I can think of a couple of men I have known, who rarely, if ever said my name. Wow, apparently I must have really made a big impression. I only know that in hindsight, I ended up thinking, among other things; "F*ck him, he couldn't even be bothered to say my name, the ASS!"

It's a mistake to underestimate the power of saying someone's name: The sound of someone's NAME is one of the most powerful triggers you can ever use to get their attention. It is the first sound we hear as infants and it has been used as a means to control our behavior for as long as we can remember. It can instantly lull us into a comfort zone. This seems a simple concept, but is dramatically under utilized as a tool of effective communication. As a greeting - "Jack, Brenda - great to see you both!" it's very friendly and warm. Think about someone in your life who has the ability to change your emotional state, your mood, simply by the way they say your name. I can honestly say that there are only two instances in which I would NOT use someone's name. I either do not like the person and therefore cannot bring myself to say their name, or I can't remember what their name is! See what I mean?? Neither are good scenarios.

Sometimes we are SO familiar with someone that we rarely use their name, but not usually. I still say, we all like hearing it once in a while. Notice there's no problem using a person's name if you're mad at them. "John, you're such an asshole sometimes!" Yes, that's personal and "connected" no two ways about it.

For Pete's sake: and who the hell IS Pete, anyway??-- But our pets have names that (for those of us with pets),we use their names often and with lots of emotion. Now if that's not proof of affection, to bring home my point - I don't know what is.

Which brings us to the universal language of sex/intimacy and using one's name. Depending on your lover, (hopefully he/she or "they" are in tune with you) this can be very intimate. The best sex, is the sex you have with someone you have a good comfort level with. Sex with desire. Not for the sex itself, but for the person. For their body, for their mind - - almost anyone can seduce a "body" but not just anyone can seduce your mind, your heart, your desire. And once it's been successfully seduced, you're always more likely to be a sucker when it comes to that person. What's that saying, about the flesh being weak?

From the Bible, Matthew 26:41
"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak"

Sigh...We've all 'been there, done that' - n'est pas? And wouldn't it be nice, hindsight being what it is, to scratch a select few peoples' names OFF "the list" (of sexual partners) - Oh I sure would if I could.

Darling Nikki

MARRIAGE: for better or worse.

Written by Darling Nikki | 15 September 2009

These are merely MY views and thoughts. I'm no Relationship Guru.

There: that's my "Disclaimer."

Well, couples are still getting engaged, married in spite of a staggering divorce rate. Here's what gets me: I see (know of) some people getting married and they show NO signs of being committed to (their) "one" person. If they're like this NOW, how are they going to be in a year? Or even 6 months? Or ever??

It's either that, or they are so whipped it's ridiculous. (Not healthy either.) I just love those people that totally disappear when they get "involved" and then suddenly "re-appear" when things aren't so rosy anymore. One word; Pathetic. Also, I am amused at how some men get their lady a ring, just to pacify her and then have this super long "engagement" with no actual wedding date. Yeah, you can tell there was noooo pressure there to slip that ring on the finger. Yes, I know a few of 'those' guys and I also know (from them) that they are in NO RUSH to make it official. The pacifier? It works - for a little while anyway.

(Some) People are walking down the aisle for - how can I put this nicely..... foolish reasons. That's nothing new, ofcourse. Here are a few classic examples:

To appease someone else (partner and/or family). There's this pressure to "conform" - - that if you're a certain age, you should be married - or there's something "wrong" with you, or your relationship or your ability to do anything beyond half-assed.

"Pressure" - whether it's from within the relationship or external is NOT a reason to get married.

Or the "well I've been with her for 5 years, I must love her, it 'seems' like the right thing to do" excuse. There's a brilliant idea.

"All my friends are married, or getting married" -- With reasons like these, it's no surprise that so many marriages fail. Hey, with a 45% success rate (don't quote me on that,) I sure don't want to rain on anyone's parade but the fact of the matter is: that if you are not compatible with someone, and can't be yourself (and deep down if you have any sense, you have to know that) - you can get your single ass "married" all you like and that isn't going to change a thing. The forecast will be cloudy with showers a.k.a; murky and tearful. All the "working at it" in the world will NOT change the outcome and do you know why? Because it's either meant to be, or it's not and if it seems like "work" then something is definitely not right. If you're having to work at it that hard, I'm inclined to think there was some misrepresentation happening when the relationship was "new" either from one or both parties. Fact is: you can never be sure but we all have gut instincts, and if there's reservations and fear about the mere thought of it: FIGURE out what those are stemming from before taking "the big step." There's scads of books out there to address this whole decision and what makes relationships "work" but in the end it really comes down to gut instinct. Marriage

THINK; It takes at LEAST a year to get to know someone, provided you are spending regular, quality time with that person. I mean their BASIC "make-up," temperament, disposition. The first year is an introductory phase really. Theoretically, you should get a pretty decent "preview" of what makes your man or woman tick. Exception being: they are a master manipulator/pathological liar. Oh, with these ones, a year isn't quite long enough. Seeing a person interact with others (friends and family, co-workers) is very important, as you can get a feel for how they are "received" and regarded by others. What your close friends think about a potential spouse is important. (Let me stress: "CLOSE" friends.) In most cases, they have known you the longest and they know you well. I'm not saying to let your friends ultimately decide for you, but on some level, they ARE a part of the "big picture" too. They are people you have vested relationships with, tried and true and they care about you. If/when (God forbid, ofcourse!)things fall apart: they will be the ones you turn to, when things go "south." For support, refuge-- hell maybe even for shelter. Likewise where there's children from previous relationships; is everyone gelling? This can and does present a huge problem if there's any discord.

Did you meet this person at a high point, or a low point in your life? Are you looking to be "fixed," "helped" or "taken care of?" Are you afraid of ending up alone? Are you 'hoping' it will calm you down? Well, it might: for awhile.

There are some things where it's okay to have different opinions on things with a partner but when it comes to finances, raising children, even religious/political views - these are things that should not have wide gaps on thinking, between two people. Your CORE beliefs and values should not be dis-similar. If someone has an addiction for example, be it sex, spending, OCD, gambling, substance abuse; these are things that aren't going to just "disappear" all by themselves. Don't get married to anyone that has major problems and think you can "fix" them. Don't get married to anyone that you can't talk to freely, that you can't envision yourself growing older with, and facing lifes' curves and challenges with: that means "together."

Are you looking for an equal, or a parent? You'd be amazed how many men have more of a parent-child relationship with their spouses. It can happen the other way around too. I've seen it, and it's tragic and usually doomed. Daddy's spoiled little Princess doesn't always grow up. Neither does "Mommy's Boy." I've seen a couple of those hook-ups. Not pretty. Some executive types treat their wives like a mom AND a slave. "Pack my suitcase" "take care of the kids" - "Be a good wifey/hostess for the corporate events/parties" - these Big Shots aren't around
much (business trips galore) but some of them sure know how to pick the "right" woman; subservient. The trade off? Money, A big house, the kids in private school, a yearly vacation or two and a few bragging rights. With all that wealth, and their big show-homes, they are some of the loneliest, depressed women I have met. Most will stay with their husbands.

Close your eyes: Think of your "special someone." Can you see them clearly? Can you see getting through your worst possible nightmare with that person? Can you see yourself, there with them, for theirs? And I don't mean a bad dream. I mean that one or two things that we all have that are almost unbareable to even think about becoming a "reality." That they would be supportive and the first person you would seek for comfort/advice should one of your worst fears become real?

Alternatively, can you "see them" when you think of something really great happening? (ie: job promotion/winning a huge lottery and never having to work again, going on the vacation of a lifetime) - if you can see yourself with that person regardless of where life takes you, good or not so good - and through all the peaks and valleys, then it sounds like it could be right. Like I said, I am no "expert" but I do know a few things about human nature. We are never going to be perfect, especially in our imperfect world, and in a society that puts all kinds of pressure on our daily lives. Remember: the person you choose to marry should make life easier, not more difficult. Choose them because you truly believe that both your lives will be enriched and your personalities compliment each other's. Emotionally, spiritually and intimately.. and because you believe, (that just like your closest friends and family); that that person would be there for you come hell or high water. As 'they' say: "do you promise to love, honor and cherish, in sickness and in health?"

Darling Nikki

DIRTY LAUNDRY

Written by Darling Nikki | 08 September 2009

Okay, now I am reminded why I stopped watching the news and TV in general. FIRST of all: (At times) there's enough action in my own life.. WHY the hell; even when I'm lying ever so low, do guys that have a "hall pass" from their wives/girlfiends want to come "visit" (or go out) with me, when they are 'free' and I'm having a quiet night in -- These are guys whom I have never "been" with ... Okay the obvious answer is: they are hoping to "change" that status - HELP. Do I have to put on my "bitch-coat?" I know that this doesn't happen to just me. A recently divorced girlfriend of mine has the same problem, for lack of a better word. Once again, let me say that if a woman wants sex, it will be pretty clear.

SECONDLY: Apart from the Discovery Channel and those similar to it, it's mostly all bad news. (I confess, I do watch The Oprah Show on occasion just by chance, and some of her show-topics are good).

RECENTLY aired on a popular "Entertainment" Show: Toddlers and kindergarten aged girls in Beauty Pageants: CRAZY moms. Where are the fathers? Did they run for the hills from their OCD wives? These little girls are as young as 3 and 5 years old! - Wigs, false eyelashes, fake long nails, heavily made up faces.. Provocative little pleather outfits (even handcuffs on one "cop" costume with short shorts) to go with their dance routines. SICK. Many of the moms are pageant "has-beens"-- driven to live their lost dreams through their kids that are barely out of diapers. Gotta hand it to those Southern Belles. Those contests should be ILLEGAL for children under the age of 16.
Way to go, "Moms."

Took some time to read up on the latest crazy news out of LA-LA Land. The cross section of "views" in the public posts and message boards are fascinating. I'm talking about the murder of Jasmine Fiore. Oh the tongues are wagging. An apparent murder-suicide. I say "apparent" just because you never know. Okay well it DOES appear that Ryan Jenkins killed her - but things aren't always what they appear to be. Alright, so it's not the brightest thing to do; getting married in Las Vegas after a (reported) 2day courtship. You can get married at a drive-through chapel in Vegas! Just add alcohol (can u say "no last call?") and hang out in the land of excess, non stop action 24/7..

Rumors spread fast and the media has a way of leading us into all sorts of directions. Was she a model, a stripper? Both? - There's been all kinds of comments made and many of them are mean. What does it matter? She didn't deserve to get murdered, mutilated, stuffed into a suitcase, and thrown into a dumpster. I don't care if she had a dozen men text messaging her. There's actually people out there saying she "deserved it", and "what did she expect?" Or "Poor Ryan, he was hott."

Stripper or not: Helloooo - I think she "expected" to NOT get butchered and stuffed into a dumpster. Or is that expecting too much? And how many people were quick to jump on the rumor that Ryan's Canadian ex-GF was the "mystery woman" that drove him to the Motel in B.C., Canada where he hung himself? That (she aided and abetted him) has never been confirmed. And in actual fact, her alibi checks out with the RCMP - she was not with him. Yet there's a whole bunch of geniuses out there saying it was her. Poor woman, but amazing to see how many people are getting their 15 minutes of fame, whether they want it or not. Anyone who has ever been lied about, and experienced first- hand the real damage that bullshit and lies can cause, knows that it's true; "Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged" - PEOPLE LIE ALL THE TIME and spread untruths. Ever heard of broken telephone? The story grows bigger as it moves on down the line. My point is, everyone is entitled to their opinion but so many people talk out of their ASSES. It's refreshing to read/hear an EDUCATED opinion - an informed opinion - BUT these people that run off at the mouth, calling Jasmine Fiore a "slut," "a hooker," lead singer from the Metal band Poison "Bret Michael's sloppy seconds" - They should shut the hell up because they sound like idiots. The "Moral" Police. Not to worry: the media will forget all about Jasmine Fiore soon and Megan and her MWAM ("Megan wants a Millionaire") show. And we the masses will obligingly shift our attention to the next story. Just like a cat follows the beam of a flashlight cast upon a wall. Nexxxxt. Afterall: "The show must go on" and the trough will be replenished with fresh blood and new chaos in no time.

I see the Michael Jackson saga is alive and well. He's well rested now, no need for those propofol cocktails. There's a few heads about to roll for their part in his death. Pretty wild: that anyone would need a general anaesthetic just to get a night's sleep. Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll; an often lethal combination. It's like a daytime soap opera; if I don't turn on the TV for a few months, sure enough when I go back to it, there will be more of the same.

Ryan Jenkins must've really been messed up: didn't he know that he'd be treated like a King in the Canadian Prison System with women lining up to get a piece of him? He had quite the following. He'd probably be out in a few years, still rich and handsome; all buff from being locked up - and perhaps write a book.. Plus he had the kind of coin that would've bought him a mighty fine legal defence. Even if he DID face extradition back to the U.S., it would only have been after assurances were given to the Canadian Government that he would not face the death penalty in the State of California.

I'm going back to the Discovery Channel the next time I watch TV. The food chain, nature and the wonders of the world; I will stick with that for awhile. We live in an addictive society. We'd probably all be better off if we watched less of the crazy shit that is served up to us like dinner, on a daily basis. Join a team, go do something nice for someone, or yourself. Exercise. Have more sex.)

Darling Nikki

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