Sex Position Advice
| 17 June 2009
How many times have I extolled the virtues of being nice? Apparently, there's a lot of guys out there who like their women bitchy. With some, it seems: the bitchier, the better. In fact, I can honestly say that the men I'm not 'as nice' to are quite persistent. But the minute I'm nice (too nice at times), to someone, I get shit on, more or less.Well, I'm tired of it. I'm going to be a bitch and it will be a game of "survival of the fittest". Can you see it now? Me, all by my lonesome wondering why no one wants to talk to me??... All kidding aside, I'm saying "f*ck it", I'm just me... and whoever is cool with what all of that includes, great- and whoever isn't, can go do whatever it is, that floats their boat. This applies to all aspects of life. I've been too polite, too conscientious, too concerned with other peoples' feelings for too long. My mother was/is too nice, it's all her fault.) Thankfully, I was spared the Anti-Christ genetic traits of my father..
Like the saying goes: Don't make anyone a priority who only sees you as an option. I'm all out of free passes. Oh, and the curse continues: I can get the attention and adoration of any guy, as long as I have no interest in him. The less effort I make, (even NO effort at all) the more they like it. Do people love "the chase" that much? Even when there's clearly no 'prize' to be gained? That which they can't have? It's so idiotic, and we've all done it. Would we go out and buy a car that we couldn't drive? Clothes that don't fit? Anything at all that didn't "fit" into our lives? No, no and no. So why the hell pursue people that are not interested? IT'S STUPID and pointless.
I've dumped potential customers that were clearly "all talk". Carrot danglers who talk out of their ASSES. I've unburdened myself of "friends" that had less than good intentions (male/female) and the same goes with people who are "too busy" and can't be bothered to reciprocate with common decency. F*CK them. I ask for nothing more than that, and if that's too lofty of an expectation; then so be it. Good friends stay in touch. People who leave long gaps in between contacting you are the same people who would not know if you were alive or dead. And then it's supposed to be your "lucky day" if they take a minute to send a text msg, or call. I've done it, and I've had it done to me. Yes, sometimes I'm guilty of exactly what I'm talking about. But I do know how my friends are doing and they know how I'm doing as well. Unless there's a very good reason: (Plague, at War, or being placed in The Witness Protection Program to name a few examples), if someone doesn't give enough thought to you to see/ask how you are doing then to hell with them. And while I'm on a roll, let's talk about the word "sorry". Now there's one of the most over-used words that spill out of peoples' mouths that half don't know the true meaning of. The word "sorry" is so used and abused. It is often used in a sarcastic way, definitely in a not sincere way and is more often than not, a preamble to a lame excuse. Once in a while, it IS truthful.
Now THAT'S sorry.Things really can be simplified in life if you take a simple inventory, and remove the blinders. The world is full of pretenders. The real gems; they are out there too. I'm fortunate to know a few of them. They radiate goodness and they care. And geography has nothing to do with any of this.
Is this all sounding too bitchy? Awww, well I'm not sorry. What I do regret is that it took me as long as it did to realize all of this. I'm not going to stop being nice. It's not my nature, but I am going to call a spade, a spade and make no exceptions.
Darling Nikki
| 04 June 2009
And so it goes - "I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see"We often look but do not SEE, we hear but do not LISTEN. We can even touch, but not FEEL. And some of us pull off this amazing feat, for a lifetime. I'm a work in progress, trying to be graceful.)
But when (if) the lights come on, also known as: waking up and smelling the coffee, it all becomes clear. Very few people successfully 'hide' who they are forever. Sure, it takes awhile to get to know someone. Some, you never really know. But the fact is: people SHOW us who they are with what they say and do. Whether or not we SEE it right away is another story. When you like someone (attraction) it's more of a challenge. We wear blinders.
I swear that sex (especially really good sex, which is the only kind worth having btw) lowers a person's I.Q...
Often dramatically. It's definitely lowered mine a couple of times. There's no sure way to know right away, when you've met up with the wrong person (assuming all "appears" to be going smoothly, and btw, you're double damned if the person turns you on). But if we SEE and LISTEN, the truth makes itself known. Hence; hindsight is 20/20. Emotions are a powerful thing, both a tool and a weapon. Towards others, towards ourselves. How else to explain the divorce stats just as one example? Just how does love and affection manage to transform into loathing contempt?
Too bad the brain is wired to ignore things sometimes. It takes some of us more time to "process" what we are taking in. It's best to hoan the skills and insight to cut down the 'processing' time. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT INSTINCTS!
We all got to be who we are by numerous variables. Early childhood, environment, family, peer groups, relationships. Our past. The good, the bad. How we react to all of it is what determines a positive or negative outcome. As adults, not much has changed except we are not in the playground anymore and we get bills with our names on them! Most of us still have relationships, family etc unless we are that unlucky not to (recluse?), or have f*cked up everything that badly, to be abandoned, written off.
We are still in some ways the child we once were, only fast forwarded by "x" amount of years. Theoretically smarter... but I know some kids who are a lot smarter than some adults will ever be. And being that child still - it's not meant as a good or a bad thing. It just "is". If you carry the negative around with you and nurture it, it becomes your chronic affliction. Your "garden of turmoil". I wish I'd become a psychiatrist. Probably best I didn't because I do believe that some people are hopeless in that they will never face reality. We all have our set of conscious and unconscious rules that we "fly" by. Self preservation, as a general rule is key.
You can run but you can't hide.
I had a guy tell me recently how much he resented his mother. There were several reasons why. He doesn't even talk to her and by the sounds of it, he never will. He wasn't beaten or starved but he was not nurtured in the way that a child deserves to be. There's more than one way to beat and starve someone. Neglected, left to simmer, some people have little infernos within them that become a big part of who they are. Just as a discretionary example; he reflected on her "shitty cooking" and how she overcooked EVERYTHING. I asked him (trying to conjure up something positive) if there was perhaps just one thing he recalled that she didn't overcook, anything that he LIKED??
He thought for a minute and sure enough he pulled up a more positive memory of a particular meal or two that she'd make, and didn't 'f*ck up'. And for a brief second, he almost looked happy. What an overall, negative shit head S.O.B. he proved to be. Even his eyes were cold and dead looking. And no, I didn't see that right away. (See: "lowered IQ" and "work in progress"). My mother was no June Cleaver and I didn't have a Brady Bunch clan existence, but you don't see me taking it out on the world.. This dude was stone cold.
Maybe if I go completely blind I will finally figure everything out .) My Sixth Sense.
Darling Nikki
