Darling Nikki
| 06 March 2009
Ok, let's separate the MEN from the BOYS. The contenders from the pretenders. I'm talking whether it's totally casual, or something with the potential for more. Listen up, this one's for Men and Women.
If it's totally casual, just sex, and nothing more there's still a few things that should be, or better yet MUST be a "given". Real Men will know what the protocol is. If you haven't figured that out yet, then you're a forever-boy. Go away Peter Pan or whatever your name is. Back to Never-Never Land.
If it's totally casual, just sex, and nothing more there's still a few things that should be, or better yet MUST be a "given". Real Men will know what the protocol is. If you haven't figured that out yet, then you're a forever-boy. Go away Peter Pan or whatever your name is. Back to Never-Never Land.
"Category 1" Repeat the first sentence after me, beginning with "I am entitled..
1) To be treated with respect". Everyone (stupid people included) has feelings. If you're hopping into bed with someone and I don't just mean a one-off, that person deserves basic R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Even if the sex means nothing (big picture) it is shared personal time by 2 peeple who made the conscious decision to get together. I repeat, I'm not talking about a "one nighter".
2) Be nice, enjoy it. Have fun - otherwise it's a complete waste of time. The understanding is there, (or it ought to be), that it's a limited thing (in its nature) but you can still spend the time being a decent person and not acting like the other person is a "thing" meant for only one purpose: F#CKING. That's what blow up dolls are for, or escorts, or vacation sex, someone you'll never see again - or in a woman's case; vibrators. A few of them. Different sizes etc. And ofcourse, vacation sex. I personally don't strip down naked and get into bed with men that I don't enjoy/like as people. Ya, okay and they're pretty hot looking too. So, if the premise is (for the sake of argument) "I like you, you turn me on, but our 'arrangement' is not one that's going to advance towards a "real relationship" then that's A-okay. Both people understand and are on the same page. HAVE FUN. Compliment that person, be flirtatious, send a totally hot txt msg once in a while. None of these are marriage proposals, it's just fun. If you can't manage any of the above, then f*ck off. You're a stiff.
"Category 2"1) To be treated with respect". Everyone (stupid people included) has feelings. If you're hopping into bed with someone and I don't just mean a one-off, that person deserves basic R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Even if the sex means nothing (big picture) it is shared personal time by 2 peeple who made the conscious decision to get together. I repeat, I'm not talking about a "one nighter".
2) Be nice, enjoy it. Have fun - otherwise it's a complete waste of time. The understanding is there, (or it ought to be), that it's a limited thing (in its nature) but you can still spend the time being a decent person and not acting like the other person is a "thing" meant for only one purpose: F#CKING. That's what blow up dolls are for, or escorts, or vacation sex, someone you'll never see again - or in a woman's case; vibrators. A few of them. Different sizes etc. And ofcourse, vacation sex. I personally don't strip down naked and get into bed with men that I don't enjoy/like as people. Ya, okay and they're pretty hot looking too. So, if the premise is (for the sake of argument) "I like you, you turn me on, but our 'arrangement' is not one that's going to advance towards a "real relationship" then that's A-okay. Both people understand and are on the same page. HAVE FUN. Compliment that person, be flirtatious, send a totally hot txt msg once in a while. None of these are marriage proposals, it's just fun. If you can't manage any of the above, then f*ck off. You're a stiff.
Okay, now for the "not just raw casual sex". If there's 'maybe' something more to it, or potential for there to be; I'm talking about 2 single people. No girlfriends/wives or boyfriends/husbands.
There's a few clear signs and things that should be happening. And I'm talking pre-"relationship". For example: (Remember you are having sex with this person and you actually respect and care for them).
1) Ask the person how they are doing? And mean it. "Hi, how are you?". Simple. An interested person calls you. If you made an impression, you won't be forgotten. If none of this is registering, get that book; "He's just not that into you". There's one for men too.
2) If ie; a woman has a child/ren, even if you have not met that child, she has undoubtedly mentioned/spoken about them; ask how her child is also. And not just when he/she will be in bed sleeping so that you can come over and have sex. A guy that never asks about your child/ren (or makes no comment at all in response to something you may mention) doesn't give a flying f*ck about you.
3) Go see a movie or stay in and watch one. Bring a bottle of wine or whatever and sit your ass down and stay awhile. Catch up. This is not rocket science. If the movie's not keeping your attention, you can always make out.. If you're sexually involved with someone and they can't manage this once in awhile, then they can get lost too. Unless they fit into "Category 1", and are for whatever reason(s) unavailable (married/attached, mental :D etc) and you're both cool with that. You get what you pay for, lol..
4) Take off for a night somewhere. The drive will be fun and getting away is nice. Live a little.
Now there's a few quick, simple things that can be fun and not one of them means you are automatically locked into a "relationship". It's simply spending time with someone you like, sexually and otherwise and you're just kind of letting things flow a little. See where it goes. No promises. MAN UP (or Woman up?) and stop being a chicken shit. Life's all about taking chances every now and then.
Me, myself and I Just visited my neighborhood "Adults Only" store. What a fun little shopping experience that always is. It's been a while.. Hmmmm, what to choose. They've got a device to stick into EVERY body cavity except the ears and nose! I'm hooked on sugar-free cherry flavored lube. Looks like I'm preparing for a party. Lol, wonder who's coming? As much as I enjoy some of my "extra-curriculars", there is a simple solution for anyone that's confused. Get to know someone before you start up a sexual relationship and/or get your black belt in masturbation. Easier said than done. And still - no guarantees. Roll the dice, and remember: Be nice.
Darling Nikki
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