Darling Nikki
| 24 March 2009
I'm thinking of getting a revolving door installed at my house. Enter and sign in please.
That was a joke. I wonder why some men think just because you're single, that you "must" want to have sex all the time. Newsflash: I don't. Hey maybe I want to be the next Playboy Playmate of the year too, but that's neither here nor there AND it's not going to happen. The fact is: if I want you, there will be a clear signal, or two. Chances are, we've got together before and not just once or twice. That's right.. It's not our first 'tango'. That must mean that I either asked you to come over, or you asked to come by and I said "yes". Imagine that. That's called an "INVITATION"
It's a given. People talk about sex all the time. Whether it's joking, flirting, or the real deal - whatever the case. It's on the cover of magazines and every other form of media. So it's only natural that it comes up in various ways in one's day to day life. Or at least it does in mine. If I was married, or with someone obviously my observations and interactions would be on a considerably smaller scale. But seeing as I'm just me, myself and I, the topic of sex comes up a lot and with a wide array of people. If and when I'm not comfortable with it, or the person, I put a full stop to it, but I don't get offended that easily. (Sometimes it's one of my male friends telling me about a date from hell or something funny that happened to them). I do hear some great stories.
So here's what I'm wondering: I've told someone that wanted to come and see me that I was just "with" ie; "Tom" the day before. His reply? "So, mind if I come by??" I didn't provide details but the message was clear. I can't imagine that same scenario if the roles were reversed. Here's a hint: if I told you that I was with someone the day before, I'm not into you (that way).
Here's a real conversation/msg exchange, whatever:
He's a little indirect but I've provided translations. He is none other than "Mr. 4 minutes" that I no longer see.
John Q: "What are you up to?" (translation: do you want to have sex?).
Me: "Tom was over, he just left about a half hour ago" (translation: No, I'm all good, just had some).
John Q: "Want some company"?? Helloooo.. is this guy listening to ME? I just told him that someone juuuust left. Why the hell would I want him to come over?
One day he messaged me, "how are you, are you tied up today?" (he meant 'busy', and did I want to have sex) and I replied, "trying to be". I didn't mean literally, but yes, I had plans. The "plan" was on his way over. I thought it was straightforward, and a pretty good 'hint'. That, and I'd been avoiding him like the plague. Was this entirely lost on him? He said, "well if your plans fall through, let me know and I'll come by". WTF??
Another guy asked me, and talk about direct; "When's it my turn?" "When may I have the honor and privelege to..." (Yes that last bit was said sarcastically but in a cute 're-phrased' way when I said "Do I look like a merry-go-round to you?! When's my "TURN"??). Not that I tell everyone my business but ie; if someone has a girlfriend/wife/fiance, and/or I'm not interested, I don't care what I say and I think (or I thought) it re-enforces my "No Thanks" when I allude to the fact that I have other people I "see".. In some instances, I have "hoped" that it would be a deterrent. It's not though. So what pray tell, is?? Here's the thing; If they thought I had no one, they'd assume I was craving some attention, namely theirs. If they think/know that I'm "otherwise entertained", they (apparently) take that to mean I'm a sex fanatic who can't get enough and I must have an unquenchable thirst for it and want more... right? But it matters WHO I get my "more" from. It matters a lot. Some thought actually goes into it. It's not eenie, meenie, miney, moe, or step right up, you're the next contestant.
Guess what? It's my party and I decide who I want to invite. The day will surely come when I won't receive as much (or any) attention. Then I will have that to bitch about, boo hoo. In the meantime, it's somewhat amusing to me how many people don't let the facts or reality get in the way of their misconceptions. Oh some of you guys, I have to give you full marks for persistence.
Darling Nikki
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