Darling Nikki
| 07 July 2009
Yes we all know that Humpty Dumpty Nursery Rhyme. Nobody could put him back together again.
I was ill for a week and while I was down for the count, I learned that Michael Jackson had died. Wow. All that money, fame, power AND a personal physician by his side. None of it was enough. I keep hearing "I grew up with Michael Jackson". Really? Then that must mean I grew up with him too, and the Skipper and Gilligan because they were on my tv and I "saw" them, everyday. Ironically, later in life I would come to refer to my ex and his dopey puppet of a step brother as the Skipper and Gilligan. It was no compliment, and certainly no offence to my Castaway Friends from the S.S. Minnow. How naïve was I? I was always sure they were going to get off that island every time they cooked up a scheme to get off it, and every time they flopped. Did we grow up with these people? Sure... if it makes you feel better to think that, what the heck-- you go right ahead- there's no harm in it.
So Michael Jackson and his sprawling, abandoned Neverland Ranch. Sad to see the newsclips of what was once so alive, and now like a ghost town. I'm not the bleeding heart type, but I think dear Michael, odd as he may have become over the years was probably one of the most isolated, lonely people in the world. He'd probably been stabbed in the back a hundred times over by people pretending to care, or be friends. $20 million settled out of court bought the silence of his alleged "molestation victim". He was too trusting, too kind and he got f*cked for it. On a much smaller scale, (unfortunately my own), I have seen first hand the bullshit that flies in court. It's despicable and shocking. I shudder to think, even if all things are considered "relative", what things would feel like on a much grander scale. The users, the liars, the leeches. Well Michael... Rest in Peace. The vultures, they will still pick at you; your true Peace is likely a long way's off. Fame, money; it makes a person public property.
Then there's Farrah Fawcett. Now who didn't like watching Charlie's Angels? How many a young man wouldn't have gladly been taken down (arrested) by any one of those babes? And what young girl didn't want to have that hairstyle? She was an icon. Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. Both too young to die.
So yes, we all see that money can't buy everything. Apparently some people think it can get me to go to.jpg)
Atlantis, Bahamas with them though. As much as I'd like to see the famed aquariums of Atlantis, I will not be anyone's little travel trophy. Had a conversation with someone I've known for just over a year. He's always been quite polite. I was aware that he had more than a "friendship" interest in me, but that's his problem. As he readily concurred with me when I asked him: No, I had not ONCE given him any reason to think I was sexually attracted to him. So why then was I told: "I'll take you to Atlantis, (he goes regularly) but we're sleeping in the same bed". I laughed - and compared anyone who would think of going on a trip with someone to be their "f*ck doll" for the week might as well be a hooker. He thought this was a preposterous analogy.
He then went on to tell me (GET THIS); that if I wanted to be treated differently by men, I should gain 40 pounds!! I should've told him he should grow a few inches taller and not look/dress like a rich flamer if he wanted to be treated differently by women. At least by THIS woman. The best part of what he said though was something to the effect (he was going on about "needs" and how there's nothing "wrong" with two people getting together. Yeah, he's right and I told him; "There IS nothing wrong with it IF both people feel the same way". The grand finale comment was the suggestion (his)that the roles could easily be reversed. That I might want HIM to fulfill a "need" of mine, and (in this 'fantasy' I would go to him with my "need") and he may just not be in the mood and say "no". I laughed so hard at this insane comment and got referred to as a "Prima Donna". WTF is up with these idiots?? I didn't say it but I will tell you this much, and had our conversation lasted longer, I just might've said it TO him. I would rather be looking at a Goldfish in a fishtank, and have sex with someone on my couch, THAT I LIKE, before I'd go to Atlantis and all it's underwater glory to f*ck someone I have no interest in. You couldn't pay me enough money. I'd rather f#ck myself; to take my point one step further. I have grown tired of the shark-infested waters that I've been swimming in. Everybody wants their pound of flesh.
Like any smart woman, I have a back up plan... but God only knows if it will work. It's not really a plan. It's more like a "hope". I've given up on a few things (beliefs/expectations etc) over the years, but I haven't lost all hope. They say it's the last thing to die.
Darling Nikki
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