Darling Nikki
| 09 October 2009
Stop me anytime here, but it seems to me that unless you're in the thick of a marriage or relationship, a little bit of freedom and anarchy can really muddy the waters. If you've been with someone a while and then - (let me go out on a limb here and say, ummm that if it didn't "work out" then that's because there were "problems") SINGLE, the proverbial "line" can really get blurred. Everyone that can admit, "I wanna have my cake and eat it too" say "AYE". Don't let me get started on symantecs and why that saying is so non-sensical. Personally, if I had a cake in front of me, I'd get out a knife and fork and I'd eat some.
Having said that: more and more I am realizing that we are not meant to be with just one person. At least MOST of us aren't. Can you imagine being "with" someone that you'd never have to lie to, or lie by omission? Probably not. Shouldn't the ideal partner be one that, theoretically AND in practice, you can be "yourself" with? ALL the time?? Which BEGS the question: When we are "not being ourselves," who the f*ck ARE we being???
I can be single- I know this for a fact. I can be single and also feel certain I'm not missing out on any grand love story. The grass does often appear greener on the other side. Having said that, I do believe in love, yet I feel it is a rarity. So yes, I have dual-citizenship if you will... I can be with someone...or not - but until you're with someone who can take you at your best and worst, you're still alone. And for anyone who's hiding shit, and lying I have only this to say: the truth may not always be music to one's ears. But good or bad; it IS the truth. Cover your ears and say "LALALALA" all you like - but at the end of the day, someone is either going to be with you, or not. And if they are only with who they "think" you are, Houston- we have a problem. A few actually. The very minute you have to pretend or hide (who you truly are), you have sold yourself out. I don't care if that's what "everyone else" does or what "most" people do. It's still a fact. And since when does what 'everyone else does' really matter? It's merely a justification we make to ease our guilty consciences. We justify ourselves all day, every day. We all have a "mood" we can go into from time to time. Can your partner handle YOURS?
I think I'm pretty easy to get along with, but I'm sure there's a few people out there that may not agree - like I care. I do need to retreat into my shell once in awhile and I prefer to do so, without company. Or if I have company, then their quiet acceptance of this is much appreciated. I am what I am. The door is always there. To stay, or to go.
Well it's the Canadian Thanksgiving Holiday. Most Americans haven't got a clue that Canadian's celebrate this Holiday in October. Happy Thanksgiving to all. Be thankful for your health, if you have it, your good friends and family and the people who love you. Be thankful too, for the people that love to love you.. And for the people that love to hate you? To hell with them, maybe they will choke on a big mouthful of Turkey.
Darling Nikki
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